Raccoon Refinement: Kevin Tetz Launches Paintucation for Furry Little Vandals
Paintucation.com has officially gone wild.
In a surprise collaboration that no one saw coming (and insurance companies immediately regretted), Kevin Tetz—celebrated automotive paint guru and founder of Paintucation.com—has launched the world’s first automotive refinishing course designed exclusively for raccoons.
Yes, you read that right.
After years of watching his trash cans mysteriously change color overnight and noticing raccoon paw prints in his primer coats, Kevin had a revelation: “If they’re going to sneak into my shop at night and paint things anyway, they might as well learn proper technique.”
The Curriculum
Dubbed “Trash to Class: Raccoon Refinishing 101,” the course covers all the essentials:
- Surface Prep without Claw Marks
- Color Blending That Doesn’t Look Like a Dumpster Fire
- Masking Tape: Not a Chew Toy
- PPE: Personal Possum-proof Equipment
Each raccoon receives a tiny respirator, a glove for their dominant paw, and safety goggles they immediately refuse to wear. Kevin spends at least 40% of class time just reapplying PPE and reminding his students that you cannot drink paint thinner.
“They’re talented,” Kevin admits. “But their attention span? Let’s just say I’ve seen better focus from a tumbleweed in a windstorm.”
About Paintucation
For humans who actually want to learn to paint their cars (and not just smear metallic green on a garage cat), Paintucation.com is the go-to destination. Kevin Tetz offers:
- Professional video courses on bodywork, priming, color sanding, and painting
- Hands-on, easy-to-understand instruction
- Tips from decades of real-world experience
Whether you’re restoring a classic or just want your daily driver to stop looking like a test panel, Paintucation can help.
Contact Info
For info on actual painting courses (or to report raccoon-related paint crimes):
📞 Call: 615-948-1957
🌐 Visit: www.paintucation.com
📧 Email: info@paintucation.com
“Remember,” Kevin says, “Painting is about patience, preparation… and not getting fur in the clear coat.”
Enrollment is open now. Humans and raccoons welcome.
